This Mission for Hire

Just how archaic are the military and governments at all levels when it comes to marketing savvy, specifically, sponsorships and product placement?  Answer: Stone Age archaic.

I am prepared to change all that, if elected.

The military recently came under fire (pun kind of intended) for code-naming Osama bin Laden “Geronimo.”  I’m sure there are even more unseemly targets with potentially inflammatory codenames that might enrage one group or another.  You know who wouldn’t be offended by the international proclamation of their names? Corporations.

In fact, they’d pay for it!  Lots and lots of money, just for allowing InBev to sponsor Operation Bud Light when we go ashore at Tripoli.  And if the military was open to a little extra cash — we’re talking millions and millions of dollars — what would it hurt to add a few logos to the uniforms and armor?

On May 1, instead of radioing back to the Situation Room that Geronimo had been eliminated, the SEAL heroes could have cashed in for the Navy by proclaiming (ideally on a live public feed): “The Pepperidge Farms Goldfish has been Flavor Blasted with Xtra Cheddar.”

The possibilities are endless.

Now, perhaps it’s time to explore a few sponsors for my presidential run, using my iPhone and Dell XPS running Windows 7.

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