For Sale: Two Souls. (Will consider six-month lease)

Two souls available — sold individually or as a set.

Santorum’s soul: Bruised but largely intact, at least to his enormous family. Minimum price: cabinet post (maybe HHS — he knows something about the birds and the bees! — see above, re family) and some way of making that whole “worst republican in the country” business go away before Tampa. Maximum price: Not to exceed use of rock star touring bus with a group picture painted on the side.

Newt’s soul: Bloodied and battered, but with a bus ticket to Tampa and some unsettled accounts.  Minimum price: $1.4MM to pay off campaign debt (which is Obama’s fault) and to seal the record on that total bs Clinton’s people tried to pull in the 90s, and the crap his exes claimed since the 70s. Maximum price: Top-billing on GOP ticket and a burial right next to the Gipper — and that means the same box.

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